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cheshire cheese went running
May 17, 2026
From Buxton to home via Lyme park
05:08
35.5km
8:41/km
520m
710m
Garmin fēnix 5X
Bob the Robot had calibrated his legs to “light jog,” which in robot terms meant “slightly less clanking than usual.” Beside him trotted his pet dog, Sir Barksalot, who unfortunately had the face of a cheerful human and the body of a very enthusiastic Yorkshire terrier. Passersby weren’t sure whether to wave or call a scientist.
“Maintaining pace: 12 minutes 37 seconds per mile,” Bob announced proudly.
Sir Barksalot beamed. “Splendid! I feel like a biscuit-powered rocket!”
They charged across the grassy trail, Bob whirring like a polite lawnmower, the dog bounding with ears flapping like tiny victory flags. At mile ten, Bob attempted motivation.
“Fun fact: running increases longevity.”
“Wonderful,” said the dog. “I shall live forever and require infinite snacks.”
At mile fifteen, Bob’s battery dipped. He slowed. The dog did not.
“Come along, Bob! Imagine sausages at the finish!”
Bob’s systems rebooted instantly. “New objective detected: sausages.”
They sprinted the final stretch, overtaking bewildered runners and one confused sheep. At the finish, Bob collapsed gracefully into standby mode.
Sir Barksalot licked his metallic cheek. “Same time tomorrow?”
Bob powered one eye open. “Only… if sausages remain… a confirmed variable.”
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Route Details
Elevation
Highest point (260 m)
Lowest point (-70 m)
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